


Round the (Anduín River) Bend

by HASA_Archivist



Category: The Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Canon - Non-canonical to good purpose, Fourth Age, Humor, Plot - Can't stop reading, Subjects - Animals, Subjects - Explores obscure facts, Writing - Engaging style, Writing - Experimental, Writing - Good use of humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-22
Updated: 2015-04-22
Packaged: 2018-03-25 07:12:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 383
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3801456
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HASA_Archivist/pseuds/HASA_Archivist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Late night nuzgúl after FAR too much research into the Palantíri.  Outline format written down for the "Confessions of a Dangerous Mind" challenge</p>
            </blockquote>





	Round the (Anduín River) Bend

**Author's Note:**

> Note from the HASA Transition Team: This story was originally archived at [HASA](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Henneth_Ann%C3%BBn_Story_Archive), which closed in February 2015. To preserve the archive, we began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in February 2015. We posted announcements about the move, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this author, please contact The HASA Transition Team using the e-mail address on the [HASA collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/hasa/profile).

Here’s a little diddy that came into my head while I was researching the Palantíri and thinking about what they were, how they worked, and who got to use them way too much. Hope someone gets a laugh out of it.

Outline for: “Round the (Anduín River) Bend”

\- Fourth Age fic set in Gondor humorously exploring the fate of the Osgiliath-stone Palantír.

\- Aragorn, now King Elessar, reinstates the periodic inspections of the Palantíri by himself or his appointed proxy.  
\- In this case, his proxy is Faramir as he is now the lawful Steward of Gondor  
\- Conversation on Faramir’s right and ability to use the Palantíri; Aragorn reassures Faramir (major WAFF).

\- Faramir looks into the Anor-stone (in the Tower of Ecthelion) and communes with a creature claiming to be the King of the Porpoises.  
\- KoP says “his people” are under attack from the men of Dol Amroth.  
\- KoP demands to speak with Aragorn  
\- Puzzled, Faramir goes a-researchin’.  
o Finds references to loss of Osgiliath-stone  
o Finds also part of a speech made by King Eldacar; “the Osgiliath-stone is now the dominion of what creature of the waters that may one day have the wit to use it.” Obviously it was made in bitter jest, but it carried the weight of a proclamation.

\- Faramir once again speaks to KoP over the Palantíri, KoP once again demands to speak to Elessar  
\- Faramir goes to Aragorn with what he knows  
o Aragorn expresses sheer disbelief over the situation  
\- Conversation between Steward and King; what’s to stop them from wiping out the KoP? How could this insanity have happened? Why not simply rescind Eldacar’s “proclamation” so KoP can’t use the stone?  
o Turns out KoP is using Osgiliath-stone to protect “his people” from oncoming predators; it would be just plain mean-spirited of them.  
\- Faramir convinces Aragorn to speak with KoP  
o Conversation on differences between dolphins and porpoises; Faramir corrects Aragorn several times.

\- Aragorn speaks with KoP and averts a sea-side crisis... of sorts...

I, Berzerker_prime, hereby wash my hands of any and all fanficcing rights to this story. Further more, I hereby declare that such a story, although entirely too-well-researched and entirely plausible in many ways, is simply too far out there for even me to actually write. As such, it shall not be written by me.


End file.
